Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat […]
Category: Jokes
Rainy Saturday
SATURDAY MORNING I GOT UP EARLY, DRESSED QUIETLY, MADE MY LUNCH, GRABBED MY CLUBS, SLIPPED QUIETLY INTO THE GARAGE AND PROCEEDED TO BACK OUT INTO A TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR. THE WIND WAS BLOWING 50 MPH. I PULLED BACK INTO THE GARAGE, TURNED ON THE RADIO, AND DISCOVERED THAT THE WEATHER WOULD BE BAD THROUGHOUT THE DAY. […]
World’s Funniest Joke?
Excerpt from Mathematics and Humor: Freud Would Be Proud by Jerry Johnson; Hold That Thought Publishing, 2020 World’s Funniest Joke In the early 2000’s, British psychologist Richard Wiseman and his colleagues at the University of Hertfordshire conducted a long research study called “LaughLab.” Their study tried to measure the humor in jokes using a five-point ‘glggleometer,” […]
Dad Jokes!
NOTE: Many, but not all, of the earliest items are taken from either Dad Jokes by Kit and Andrew Chilvers or The World’s Greatest Collection of Dad Jokes from Shiloh Run Press. Later ones from a variety of sources. Added 8/24/20: Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control […]
Avoid Shampoo for Weight Loss!
Shampoo Warning! I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.” No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I got […]
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Sherlock Homes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down and went to sleep. Several hours later Holmes wakes up and nudges Dr. Watson awake. “Watson,” he says.” Look up and tell me what you see.” “I see millions of stars.” “What does […]
The Mad Mopper!
A police officer called in to the station on his radio. “I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.” “Have you arrested the woman?” “Not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
Cole’s Law
Two friends are talking. Friend 1: I know you’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, but do you know of Cole’s Law? Friend 2: No – what is Cole’s Law? Friend 1: Why it’s thinly sliced cabbage, of course!
Asimov & His Car Mechanic
An anecdote shared by Isaac Asimov on himself. Referring to his auto-mechanic . . . He had a habit of telling me jokes whenever he saw me. One time he raised his head from under the automobile hood to say: “Doc, a deaf-and-mute guy went into a hardware store to ask for some nails. He […]
Joke of the Week – 2/29/16
On a college campus, someone had scrawled the ever-present graffiti: “Where will you spend eternity?” Underneath, a student had added: “The way things look now, in German 201!” Note: Jokes will be re-consolidated in March. To see previous Jokes, visit JOKES.
