An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
A synonym strolls into a tavern.
At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
4 thoughts on “An English Bar?”
My favorite: A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
I like!! Hadn’t heard that one! 🙂 I have 2 or 3 other favorites. ONE of them: Descarte walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “didn’t I kick you out of here yesterday?” Decartes says “I think NOT!!” . . . and disappears!
How about this one…
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Where’s the bar tender?”. OR A horse walks into a bar and the barkeep asks “Why the long face?”
Like them both, Frank!! The horse one is another of my favorites, along with the bear that orders “a scotch . . . . and soda”. Bartender: Why the pause? 🙂
My favorite: A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
I like!! Hadn’t heard that one! 🙂 I have 2 or 3 other favorites. ONE of them: Descarte walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “didn’t I kick you out of here yesterday?” Decartes says “I think NOT!!” . . . and disappears!
How about this one…
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Where’s the bar tender?”. OR A horse walks into a bar and the barkeep asks “Why the long face?”
Like them both, Frank!! The horse one is another of my favorites, along with the bear that orders “a scotch . . . . and soda”. Bartender: Why the pause? 🙂