Terry Goodman’s Top Ten Resolutions for 2021
1. Since many of us have memorized the dialog from every episode of Law and Order, plan
a Zoom meeting where the participants re-enact their favorite episodes.
2. Resolve not to be resentful when your spouse asks, “Are you still here?”
3. Expand your social circle to include more people than just the drivers delivering your
Amazon purchases.
4. Even after being vaccinated, resolve to continue to socially distance from some people.
5. Resolve to forgive your Facebook friends who accomplished something productive in
2020.
6. Refuse to point out that, due to collective binge eating, you have gained 172 Facebook
friends, by weight, in the last year.
7. When your wife asks you take out the trash, refuse to respond by saying, “I’ll have to
check with Dr. Fauci first!”
8. With a spirit of generosity and cooperation, stop selling your oversupply of toilet paper
and hand sanitizer on the Black Market.
9. Resolve to ignore conspiracy theories about the virus. It is not true that the coronavirus
was brought to the US by a leprechaun, riding on a unicorn.
10. Publish a coffee table book entitled, “Making Lemonade from Lemons: 150 Home
Projects Using Only Leftover Masks.”
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