ASSORTED ONLINE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
* A closer look at these reveals many were written by or for women. Am I wrong?
* OPEN CHALLENGE: TERRY GOODMAN, Master Top of Ten Lists! Are you out there? We (YOU) can do better than the ones below . . . are you up to it?? (Challenge open to anyone else, too.)
* Live my best life and only buy pants with no buttons or zippers.
* Cultivate the confidence of Kanye West without the tone-deafness of Kanye West.
* Go vegan for six months and inevitably give up.
* Unfollow all the Kardashians but kontinue to keep up.
* Go on a vitamin and supplement shopping spree and finish at least one bottle before I give up.
* Buy all leftover 2020 calendars and burn them.
* Relearn social cues after a year at home.
* Turn all my high heel shoes into flats.
* Refuse to acknowledge the entirety of 2020 during social gatherings.
* Never take Home Depot trips for granted ever again.
* Unfriend every person who shares their unsolicited diet or exercise regimen.
* Do so much yoga that it actually justifies wearing yoga pants 24/7.
* Make so many baked goods for my besties that they start calling me Martha Stewart.
* Read more (or at least turn the subtitles on while binge-watching TV).
* Wake up before noon on the weekends.
* Stop making lists.
* Eat more tacos.
* Stay in the bathroom while I brush my teeth.
* Stop drinking orange juice after I’ve brushed my teeth.
* Floss every day — and not just with wild abandon in the week leading up to a cleaning.
* Actually put on a full outfit for Zoom calls (although let’s be real, business-on-PJs-below never hurt anyone).
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