ASSORTED ONLINE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

* A closer look at these reveals many were written by or for women.  Am I wrong?

* OPEN CHALLENGE:  TERRY GOODMAN, Master Top of Ten Lists! Are you out there?  We (YOU) can do better than the ones below . . . are you up to it??  (Challenge open to anyone else, too.)

* Live my best life and only buy pants with no buttons or zippers.
* Cultivate the confidence of Kanye West without the tone-deafness of Kanye West.
*  Go vegan for six months and inevitably give up.
*  Unfollow all the Kardashians but kontinue to keep up.
*  Go on a vitamin and supplement shopping spree and finish at least one bottle before I give up.
*  Buy all leftover 2020 calendars and burn them.
*  Relearn social cues after a year at home.
*  Turn all my high heel shoes into flats.
*  Refuse to acknowledge the entirety of 2020 during social gatherings.
*  Never take Home Depot trips for granted ever again.
*  Unfriend every person who shares their unsolicited diet or exercise regimen.
*   Do so much yoga that it actually justifies wearing yoga pants 24/7.
*   Make so many baked goods for my besties that they start calling me Martha Stewart.
*  Read more (or at least turn the subtitles on while binge-watching TV).
*  Wake up before noon on the weekends.
*  Stop making lists.
*   Eat more tacos.
*   Stay in the bathroom while I brush my teeth.
*   Stop drinking orange juice after I’ve brushed my teeth.
*   Floss every day — and not just with wild abandon in the week leading up to a cleaning.
*  Actually put on a full outfit for Zoom calls (although let’s be real, business-on-PJs-below never hurt anyone).