Did I Read That Right?

Subject: Did I read that right??

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

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In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
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In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS…
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In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

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In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
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Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
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Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
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Spotted in a safari park: 

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
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Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
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Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
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Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
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On a repair shop door
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK.)
 
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Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife And Daughter
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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
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War Dims Hope for Peace
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If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
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Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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And the winner is…
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead