“Lexophile” describes one who has a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.” An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.

Note:  The paragraph above kinda bothered me a little.  (Is a lexophile a person, a witty statement, or both? Is it even a word?)  I got intrigued and did a little ‘research’.  For a semi-boring summary of what I found, check out Lexophile, the Word?  Otherwise, ON WITH THE SHOW:

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No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore

I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.