DAVID LETTERMAN’S
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU’RE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING

10.  You get winded from knocking on the door.

9.  You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8.  You ask for high fiber candy only.

7.  When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance
and fall over.

6.  People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a mask.

5.  When the door opens you yell, “Trick or …” and can’t remember the
rest.

4.  By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3.  You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your
hairpiece.

2.  You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1.  You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.