Calling In Sick

The top ten most memorable claims of workers calling in sick, as reported by employers surveyed:

1. Employee said his grandmother poisoned him with a ham sandwich.

2. Worker claimed to be stuck under the bed.

3. Employee said he broke an arm while trying to grab a falling sandwich.

4. Worker claimed the universe was telling him to take a day off.

5. Employee said his wife learned he was cheating – so he had to recover his belongings from a dumpster.

6. Worker said she poked herself in the eye while combing her hair.

7. Employee said his wife put all his underwear in the washer.

8. Worker said the meal he prepared for work potluck turned out badly.

9. Employee said she was going to the beach because a doctor said she needed more Vitamin C.

10. Worker said her cat was stuck inside the dashboard of her car.