English Broken Here

Here is an interesting collection of signs and notices from other countries.  They’re written in English but something is definitely lost in translation.  🙂

11.  Outside a Hong Kong Tailor Shop:  Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
12.  In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
13.  In a Yugoslavian Hotel:  The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
14.  In a Budapest Zoo:  Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
15.  On the door of a Moscow Hotel:  If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
16.  From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:  When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.  Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
 

***

6.  In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:  Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
7.  In a Rome laundry:  Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
8.  Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:  Would you like to ride your own ass?
9.  In a Rhodes tailor shop:  Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
10.  In a Zurich hotel:  Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the hotel lobby be used for this purpose.

*****

1.  In a Paris hotel elevator:  Please leave your values at the front desk.
2.  On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:  Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
3.  In a hotel in Athens:  Visitors are expected to complain at the front desk office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.
4.  In a Copenhagen airport:  We take your bags and send them in all directions.
5.  In an Acapulco hotel:  The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
 
Source:  Feature in the UTNE Reader, March-April 1998.