These analogies theoretically came from actual English essays of high school students. I wonder if they’re real. Some of them sound too ‘good’ to be true, to me. But they’re all funny!
Added 11/17:
7. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
8. If it was any colder, it would be like being in a place that’s a little colder than it is here.
9. He felt confused. As confused as a homeless man on house arrest.
10. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity, came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
***
4. Their rowboat drifted lazily across the pond, exactly like a bowling ball wouldn’t!
5. Her eyes twinkled like the moustache of a man with a cold.
6. She had him like a toenail stuck in a shag carpet.
***
1. When she sang, it sounded like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment.
2. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:30 pm instead of 7:00.
3. Their love burned with the fiery intensity of a urinary tract infection.
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